Hypnotherapy & EMDR
Sometimes you can understand exactly why you're feeling the way you do, yet that understanding doesn't always change how you feel.
Understanding what’s happening beneath the surface
You might know that you're perfectly capable of doing something, but the thought of it still makes you anxious. You may understand that an experience from your past is over, yet certain situations bring back feelings you'd rather not have. Or you might be absolutely exhausted, desperate for a good night's sleep, but find that the harder you try to relax, the more awake you seem to become.
It's frustrating when your mind is telling you one thing and your body seems to be telling you something completely different, particularly when you've already tried reassuring yourself, thinking more positively or pushing through whatever is making you uncomfortable.
One of the things I find particularly interesting about the way we experience the world is how closely our thoughts, emotions, physical responses and behaviours are connected. The meaning we attach to something can influence how we feel, those feelings can affect what happens in our bodies, and together they can influence how we respond.
Our experiences throughout life can also influence the beliefs we develop about ourselves, other people and the world around us. Some of those beliefs are helpful, while others can leave us feeling anxious, inadequate, frightened or responsible for things that aren't necessarily ours to carry. The language we use can reinforce those beliefs too, particularly when we've become so accustomed to describing ourselves in a certain way that we no longer question whether what we're saying is actually true.
Sometimes we recognise the thought that's contributing to how we feel. At other times, we notice the emotion or physical sensation first and only begin to understand what triggered it when we explore what's happening.
My approach draws on clinical hypnotherapy, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), nervous system informed techniques and my wider counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) training.
Although these approaches are different, they can complement one another when used appropriately. The starting point is always understanding you, rather than deciding which therapy you need before we've even met.
Understanding the connection between our thoughts, feelings and behaviour
Have you ever found yourself reacting to something and afterwards wondered why it affected you quite so much?
Imagine you're at work and your manager asks whether they can have a word with you. They haven't said anything particularly concerning, but almost immediately you find yourself thinking, "What have I done wrong?" or "I'm going to be in trouble."
That thought may bring feelings of anxiety or dread, which you experience physically through a racing heart, unsettled stomach or tension across your shoulders. You might then spend the next hour worrying about the conversation, struggling to concentrate or mentally preparing yourself for criticism that hasn't actually happened.
Someone else receiving exactly the same message might simply assume their manager wants to discuss a piece of work and carry on with their day without giving it another thought.
The situation is the same, but the interpretation is different, and that interpretation can influence the emotions, physical sensations and behaviours that follow.
This is something we explore through a CBT-informed approach, which looks at the relationship between our thoughts, feelings, bodily responses and actions, including how they can reinforce one another over time.
What I find particularly important is understanding where some of those thoughts and beliefs may have come from.
If you've grown up feeling that mistakes lead to criticism, that you need to achieve certain things to be accepted or that other people's happiness is your responsibility, you may have developed beliefs about yourself that continue to influence how you respond as an adult.
You might believe you're not good enough, that you're going to disappoint people or that something bad will happen if you don't remain in control. These beliefs aren't always thoughts we're consciously aware of. Sometimes they've become so familiar that we simply accept them as the truth about who we are.
Our behaviour can then unintentionally reinforce those beliefs. Someone who fears criticism might avoid speaking up in meetings, for example, which provides temporary relief from anxiety but also means they have fewer opportunities to discover that expressing an opinion doesn't necessarily lead to rejection.
Understanding these patterns can be incredibly helpful, but there are times when knowing why something happens doesn't seem to be enough to change how we feel.
This is where working with our thoughts and beliefs alongside our emotional, physical and learned responses can be particularly valuable.
Clinical hypnotherapy
I think hypnotherapy is one of those therapies that people have often heard of but don't necessarily understand, and that's hardly surprising when so much of what we see involves stage hypnotists making people do ridiculous things in front of an audience.
Clinical hypnotherapy is very different, and one of the first things I explain to people is that hypnosis doesn't involve surrendering control or becoming unconscious.
Hypnosis is a state of focused attention in which you can become more absorbed in what you're experiencing, often accompanied by a sense of physical relaxation. You remain aware of what's happening around you, can hear what I'm saying and are free to speak, move or stop whenever you wish.
I sometimes compare it to becoming completely engrossed in a book or film, when you're so absorbed in what's happening that you temporarily pay less attention to everything else around you. It isn't exactly the same as hypnosis, but it helps explain how naturally our attention can become focused.
During hypnotherapy, I use that focused attention alongside therapeutic suggestions, imagery and psychological techniques that relate to what we've agreed to work on. Depending on your circumstances, this may involve exploring beliefs about yourself, mentally rehearsing different responses or developing greater confidence in situations that have previously caused anxiety.
How hypnotherapy can support change
Someone might come to me because they struggle with confidence at work, particularly when they're expected to speak in front of other people.
They may be knowledgeable and experienced, yet as soon as they're asked to give a presentation, thoughts such as "I'm going to embarrass myself" or "Everyone will realise I don't know what I'm talking about" begin to appear.
Those thoughts can bring anxiety, which they experience through a racing heart, shaky hands or difficulty concentrating. The physical sensations may then reinforce their belief that they're incapable of speaking confidently, even though they've managed similar situations successfully in the past.
We could explore the beliefs and expectations contributing to their anxiety, consider how realistic those thoughts are and look at the experiences that may have influenced them. Hypnotherapy may then be used to help them rehearse approaching a presentation differently, imagine themselves responding more calmly and practise alternative ways of thinking and behaving.
This isn't about convincing someone that they're suddenly going to become a completely different person. It's about supporting the changes they're already working towards and helping them experience situations with less anticipatory anxiety.
Hypnotherapy for sleep difficulties
Sleep is another area I work with, and it's particularly interesting because people can become anxious about the very thing they're trying to achieve.
You might have experienced a few difficult nights because of stress, illness or something happening in your life, but gradually begin to worry about whether you'll sleep at all.
As bedtime approaches, you start thinking about how tired you'll be tomorrow, whether you'll manage at work or how many hours you have left before morning. Those thoughts bring anxiety and frustration, which can make it even harder to settle.
If you wake during the night, you might immediately check the time and begin calculating how much sleep you're losing, even though you were relatively relaxed before you looked at the clock.
Over time, bedtime itself can become associated with worry, and the pressure to sleep becomes part of what's keeping the difficulty going.
Drawing on my CBT training, we can explore the thoughts, expectations and behaviours that may be contributing to your sleep difficulties, while hypnotherapy can be used to help reduce the anxiety associated with bedtime, encourage relaxation and support a different relationship with sleep.
The aim is to help you move away from the pressure of trying to force yourself to sleep and towards feeling more comfortable and less anxious about the experience.
What happens during a hypnotherapy session?
Before using hypnosis, we'll talk about what you're experiencing, how it's affecting you and what you'd like to achieve. I want to understand the person behind the difficulty rather than simply apply a technique to a symptom.
When we begin hypnosis, you'll be invited to settle comfortably while I guide your attention, often using breathing, physical relaxation or imagery. I may then introduce therapeutic suggestions or other techniques connected to what we've discussed.
Some people experience a wonderful sense of deep relaxation, while others remain very aware of the room around them. You might feel heavy, light, pleasantly absorbed or simply comfortable, and there's no particular sensation you need to achieve for hypnosis to take place.
You don't need to switch your mind off or worry about whether you're doing it correctly, and you won't be expected to share information or do anything against your wishes.
I always explain what we're going to do beforehand because I want you to feel comfortable and involved throughout the process.
Hypnotherapy can be helpful for some people, although how well it works varies depending on the individual and the difficulty being addressed.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
The language we use and the meaning we attach to words
One of the things I'm particularly interested in is the language people use when they talk about themselves, often without even realising what they're saying.
Someone might tell me that they're useless at dealing with difficult situations, that they've always been an anxious person or that they never get anything right. These statements can sound like ordinary descriptions, particularly when we've been saying them to ourselves for years, but they can also reflect beliefs we've developed about who we are and what we're capable of.
There's quite a difference between saying "I made a mistake" and "I'm a failure", or "I'm feeling anxious about this presentation" and "I'm terrible at public speaking." One describes something we're experiencing, while the other can make it feel as though the difficulty is a permanent part of our identity.
The words we use can also carry emotional associations that are deeply personal to us.
Take the word failure, for example. For one person, it might simply mean something didn't go according to plan and they need to try a different approach. For someone else, the same word might bring feelings of shame, embarrassment or inadequacy because of experiences they've had earlier in life.
Similarly, being described as selfish might mean very little to one person, while for someone who grew up feeling responsible for everybody else's happiness, it could bring an immediate sense of guilt or anxiety.
The word itself hasn't changed, but the meaning and emotional associations attached to it can be very different.
This is something I explore through NLP techniques alongside my wider therapeutic training, paying attention to the language people use, the meanings they attach to experiences and the beliefs those descriptions may reflect.
Someone who repeatedly tells themselves, "I have to keep everyone happy", for example, may feel they have very little choice about whether to agree to something.
That word have is interesting because it suggests an obligation, and we might begin exploring what they believe would happen if someone was disappointed with them.
They might worry that people would think they were selfish, that there would be an argument or that the relationship would change. As we explore those expectations, we may discover that saying no has become associated with rejection or guilt, even when the person recognises that they're entitled to have boundaries.
I'm also interested in the way people describe experiences before they've even happened. Someone who tells themselves that an upcoming meeting is going to be a disaster may begin feeling anxious long before they arrive, imagining everything that could go wrong and noticing physical sensations that reinforce their worry.
Becoming more aware of that internal language can help us explore whether the expectations they're creating are realistic and whether there are other ways of understanding the situation.
This doesn't mean simply replacing every negative thought with a positive one, because telling yourself you're confident when you're feeling frightened isn't necessarily going to help. It's about recognising when the language you're using is limiting how you see yourself and exploring whether those descriptions are accurate, fair or helpful.
Sometimes, the things we repeatedly say about ourselves began as things other people said to us, and over time we've accepted them without questioning whether they were ever true.
I think there's something particularly valuable about beginning to recognise the difference between what we've experienced and what we've come to believe about ourselves. Changing the words we use won't necessarily change how we feel overnight, but it can give us an opportunity to question beliefs that may have gone unchallenged for years.
EMDR therapy
There are experiences in life that stay with us long after they've happened, and while we can remember many difficult events without becoming particularly distressed, others seem to carry an emotional intensity that hasn't faded in the way we'd hoped.
You might know that something happened years ago, that you're no longer in the same circumstances and that your life has moved forward, yet a particular sound, expression, place or situation can suddenly bring back feelings that seem completely out of proportion to what's happening now.
For some people, those experiences are connected to a single frightening event, such as an accident, assault or other traumatic incident. For others, there may have been repeated experiences of bullying, humiliation, rejection or feeling unsafe, which have influenced how they see themselves and respond to situations today.
Not every difficult experience leads to trauma-related difficulties, and I wouldn't assume that every anxiety response is connected to an unresolved memory. What matters is understanding whether your past experiences are contributing to the difficulties you're having now.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It's a structured psychological therapy developed to help people process distressing experiences and is recommended in clinical guidelines for post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
How our experiences can influence our beliefs
One of the things I often explain to people is that we don't simply remember what happened to us. We can also carry the meaning we attached to those experiences.
Imagine a child who regularly experiences criticism, particularly when they make mistakes or don't meet someone's expectations.
Over time, they may begin to believe that they're not good enough, that they have to get everything right to be accepted or that making a mistake means they've failed.
Years later, that person may be successful in their career and perfectly capable of doing their job, yet even a small amount of criticism can bring an overwhelming feeling of shame or anxiety.
They may consciously recognise that the feedback is reasonable, but emotionally it feels much more significant.
Those experiences can influence the associations our brain and body make between particular situations and feelings of threat or safety. A familiar tone of voice, expression or situation may bring back an emotional or physical response before we're consciously aware of what has triggered it.
This is one reason someone can understand logically that they're safe, yet still feel frightened, ashamed or overwhelmed.
How EMDR can help
EMDR is designed to help people process distressing memories that continue to affect them, including the emotions, physical sensations and negative beliefs associated with those experiences.
During treatment, we use a structured process involving aspects of the memory and bilateral stimulation, usually through guided eye movements, although alternating taps or sounds can also be used.
The aim isn't to erase a memory or change what happened. It's to reduce the distress associated with the experience and help the person develop a more adaptive understanding of it.
Someone who has carried the belief "I'm not good enough" following a distressing experience, for example, may begin to recognise that what happened doesn't define their worth or ability.
As the memory becomes less emotionally disturbing, situations that previously triggered intense anxiety or shame may begin to feel more manageable.
This is where changes in our thoughts, emotions and behaviour can begin to come together. When a memory no longer brings the same overwhelming response, we may have more freedom to consider what's happening in the present and respond differently.
EMDR isn't simply about changing a negative thought into a positive one. It involves working with the distress associated with memories and the beliefs that may have developed around them.
There is substantial research supporting EMDR for PTSD, although the precise reasons it works are still being investigated and its effectiveness for other difficulties is less established.
What happens during EMDR?
I think it's important to explain that EMDR involves considerably more than sitting in front of someone and following their fingers with your eyes.
Before we begin processing distressing memories, we'll spend time understanding your history, the difficulties you're experiencing and whether EMDR is an appropriate treatment for you.
We'll also consider how you're managing emotionally, what support you have around you and whether there are things we need to put in place before beginning memory processing.
For some people, preparation is relatively straightforward, while others benefit from spending longer developing grounding techniques and ways of managing difficult emotions.
When we're ready to begin, I'll guide you through a structured process involving aspects of the memory, the beliefs and emotions associated with it, and periods of bilateral stimulation.
You may notice different thoughts, feelings, memories or physical sensations emerging during the process, and we'll pause regularly to check how you're managing.
One thing people are often relieved to hear is that you don't necessarily have to describe every detail of what happened aloud. We need enough information to assess and guide the work safely, but EMDR doesn't generally require a detailed verbal account of the entire experience.
Processing difficult memories can bring up strong emotions, which is why preparation, appropriate pacing and reviewing how you're feeling between sessions are important parts of treatment.
Nervous system regulation
One of the things I regularly explain to people is that we don't just think our emotions, we feel them.
Anxiety might appear as a racing heart, an unsettled stomach, tension across your shoulders or an uncomfortable feeling that something isn't quite right. Anger can leave you feeling hot, restless or physically tense, while fear might make it difficult to think clearly or find the words you want to say.
Our nervous system is involved in these responses, helping us notice and respond to what's happening around us and within our bodies.
When we perceive a threat, our body can prepare us to respond before we've consciously worked out what's happening. This is a normal part of being human and can be incredibly useful when we're faced with genuine danger.
However, there are times when those responses feel overwhelming or difficult to understand, particularly when the situation we're in doesn't seem to warrant such a strong reaction.
When your body responds before you've had time to think
Imagine you're in a meeting and someone challenges something you've said. You've prepared thoroughly, you know your subject and you're perfectly entitled to express your opinion, yet suddenly your heart is racing and your mind seems to go completely blank.
Later, when you're back at your desk or driving home, you think of everything you wish you'd said and become frustrated with yourself for not responding differently.
It's easy to interpret that experience as a lack of confidence or an inability to cope under pressure, but there may be more going on.
You may have heard people talk about fight, flight and freeze, which describe some of the ways we respond to perceived threats.
For some people, feeling under pressure can lead to frustration, anger or an urge to confront whatever is happening. Others experience a strong desire to escape, become restless or feel increasingly anxious, while some find themselves going quiet, struggling to think or feeling unable to respond.
Previous experiences can influence the responses our brain and body have learned to associate with particular situations. We may find ourselves reacting to something in the present with feelings that are familiar from the past, even when the circumstances are quite different.
This doesn't mean every strong emotional response is caused by a past experience. It does mean that understanding our physical reactions, as well as our thoughts and emotions, can be an important part of understanding what's happening.
Learning to recognise and manage your responses
When I talk about nervous system regulation, I'm not suggesting that we should aim to feel calm all the time, because that simply isn't realistic, nor would it be particularly helpful.
We need to be able to experience excitement, frustration, sadness, fear and all the other emotions that come with being human. The difficulty is when those feelings become so overwhelming that we struggle to manage them, or when our bodies remain in a heightened state of alertness long after the immediate pressure has passed.
Part of our work may involve recognising the early signs that you're becoming overwhelmed, rather than only noticing once you've reached the point where everything feels too much.
We might use grounding techniques, breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation or other approaches that help you become more aware of your physical responses and find ways of settling yourself when appropriate.
I also think it's important to consider what's happening in your life, because if you're constantly under pressure, not sleeping properly or carrying responsibilities that leave you exhausted, learning a breathing technique isn't necessarily going to address the bigger picture.
Sometimes, the work involves recognising that you need more rest, different boundaries or changes to circumstances that are placing too much demand on you.
For other people, it involves understanding why certain situations trigger particularly strong reactions and developing ways to manage those experiences with greater confidence.
There isn't one regulation technique that suits everyone, and something that feels helpful to one person may be uncomfortable or ineffective for another. We can adapt what we do according to your needs and preferences.
The aim is to help you understand your responses and feel more able to manage them, rather than expecting yourself never to become anxious or overwhelmed again.
Bringing these approaches together
My approach starts with understanding you: your experiences, the difficulties you're facing and the wider circumstances affecting how you feel.
Drawing on my counselling and CBT training, we can explore the connections between your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, physical responses and behaviour. Where appropriate, hypnotherapy, EMDR, NLP or nervous system informed techniques may support that work.
You won't necessarily need a combination of therapies. We'll assess your needs, discuss suitable options and agree an approach together.
Working together
You don't need to know which therapy is right for you before reaching out. We'll talk about what's happening, how it's affecting you and what you'd like to change. I'll explain any approaches we consider, why they may be helpful and what they involve.
The pace and number of sessions will depend on your needs. We'll review progress together, adapt where necessary and make space for questions or concerns throughout.
An approach shaped around you
You don't need to know which therapy you need before reaching out. Drawing on my counselling training and a range of therapeutic approaches, I'll work with you to understand your experiences, explore suitable options and agree a way forward that reflects your needs and feels comfortable for you.